Say What?

I know I am not supposed to talk about controversial topics like money, religion or politics here on the blog but with yesterday’s headlines I just have to address the story of the day. That’s right, Clay Aiken is officially gay! I know a lot of you have the same reaction to that story that I do thinking, who the hell is Clay Aiken? It turns out this guy was on American Idol and may have tendencies that are a tad androgenous. Now I don’t know if having a penchant for singing show tunes on Broadway automatically makes you gay but I am thinking that might have been a good indicator.

So it turns out Mr. Aiken’s reasoning behind coming out of the closet was that he didn’t want to set a bad example for his new son by lying and hiding his sexuality. I think what is missing from this story and what Child Protective Services should be investigating is, it’s a bad thing to set an example for your child by lying but it’s a good thing to set an example for your child by wearing your hair and clothes like this???

Some people just baffle me.

PS – No gay people were harmed in the making of this post and I hope none were offended by it as much as they were by having Clay join their ranks.

Brian

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Dear Deoderant Makers…

Dear Deoderant Makers,

I know this will seem like an odd rant but I feel I need to share something with you that has been bothering me for the last four or five years. You see, I am just an average guy – a regular joe if you will. I just want a regular old run of the mill deoderant that doesn’t make me smell too feminine and certainly masks my delightful natural scent. If you could somehow manage to NOT discontinue every scent I end up grudingly going with the day after I select it and actually have the same flavor available the next time I find myself in need, that would be great.

For the last 4 or 5 years, you change the scents of your deoderant like Lindsey Lohan changes boyfriends\girlfriends. I can never seem to find one that doesn’t smell like a really bad car air freshener or a really cheap candle. Why can’t you just make something that isn’t scented to appeal to a 12 year old boy in pursuit of his first girlfriend and\or absolutely no one else? I mean seriously, can you people even smell? It’s all a bunch of crap you’re selling!

Of course you do have a bevy of cleverly titled selections with your Ocean Mist, Forest Breeze, Cool Fusion, Momentum, Game Time, Aqua Sport, Alpine Force and of course, Swagger. Then there is the mother of all scents, Sport Fresh – which, by name, seems to be a tad contradictory. I mean you don’t see people making reference to Clean Dirt or Cold Fire or Delightful Natural Scent do you?

I get it that selling deoderant probably isn’t what you envisioned yourself doing as a child and I can only imagine the dangers that are indigenous to your field of work. There used to be a select few of you who actually seemed to cater to the average guy but even you, Old Spice, have now jumped on the metro-sexual bandwagon.

Please for the love of all things scented, could you please maybe combine your forces and come up with just one scent for the average guy? You don’t need any special packaging or fancy graphics. You won’t need any clever commercials or scantily clad models to sell it… on second thought, a few scantily clad models probably wouldn’t hurt… Please just come up with an average guy flavor and call it something easy to identify like ‘Dude’.

Is that asking too much?

Brian

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Life’s Greatest Quandaries…

So here I am sitting here thinking how awesome it would be if I had some Skittles right now. I have a bag of M&Ms but it just isn’t the same. Why is that? While we’re on the subject of Skittles, a little known fact about my dog is that she was almost named Skittles due to an unfortunate incident. I used to keep a bowl of Skittles on my desk, not because I am an addict or anything, and somehow my dog was able to knock that bowl off the desk when I was out of the house. So being just a wee little pup and lacking proper adult dog reasoning skills, she ate the whole one pound bag.

I came home to find technicolor barf stains all over the carpet – upstairs and down. It took me a couple minutes to figure out what in the sam hill was going on. I had a hard time restraining myself because I do love some Skittles. It was a little costly to get the carpet clean but to this day it still makes me chuckle.

Another little known fact is that I sometimes wait months, close to a year to name my pets. It’s not out of the realm of possibilities that I could have a pet chose to abandon me simply becuase they don’t get a name. Having said that, a pet’s name should have some meaning so I think it is important to pick a good one.

Anyway, her name is Blue but it was almost Skittles. Now you know, the REST of the story…

Rumor has it, it’s been a while since I posted. Because all three people that read this blog were so patient with me, I hope to update more frequently because there is exciting news coming down the pike.

Brian

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Is it me???

So in addition to Jack Handy’s awesome thought for the day, I thought I would leave you with this – so you too can lose sleep over it…

So MK and I were visiting with some awesome clients we will be shooting next year at Center Point Station in San Marcos. When ever we go to Center Point Station I always like to get a burger and MK gets fudge. So I was denied a burger this time but MK still got her fudge. So as we’re ordering this alleged fudge, it dawned on me that they had all these different flavors – maple, snickers, vanilla etc. How in tarnation can they call vanilla fudge? It just seems like there should be a law against this kind of thing…

Anyway, now you too can enjoy thinking about that, like a bad song you can’t get out of your head… 🙂

Brian

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Pure craziness…

Ok, so it seems that there is at least one procrastinator out there that would rather read this blog than work. Surprisingly, that person is not my mom. So I will give a little update on what is going on in our world AND then bury this post beneath a new post with a wedding featuring the gorgeous nurse Mandy, and her doctor of a husband, Andy.

So as some of you may or may not know, MK and I have acquired a new studio – pictures forth coming. We are really excited about it for several reasons, the least of which being that I can blame my inattentiveness to the blog on the fact that I have been painting and laying hard wood flooring. Who knew I had skills like that? I sure didn’t…

Speaking of business related stuff and mad building skills, I am putting all those really expensive power tools in my garage to good use and building a photobooth. Yep, just like the ones you used to clown in at the mall or skating rink when you were a nutty little teenager. Unfortunately for some of you, we will only be making this photobooth available to our wedding couples and, of course, all of our parties at Casa Sprayberry.

Speaking of parties, feel free to go ahead and mark October 31st off your calendar this year on the off chance you get an invite to the most awesome Halloween Party EVER! The Second Annual (except that we took two years off) Sprayberry Halloween Extravaganza! Details coming eventually…

Also, miracle of all miracles, it has actually rained enough in San Antonio over the last two weeks to cancel not one but TWO softball games. How about them apples? Plus, my lawn probably needs to be mowed. Our dog won’t even go in the back yard anymore to take care of her business because the grass has gotten so high, it allegedly rubs her belly. She is finicky like that I guess.

In honor of the fine folks at Budweiser selling their soul to the Belgians, this week’s (actually this month’s) poll has to do with beverages of the malted hops variety. I like beer. In spite of this fact, I am still dominating MK at the Wii Fit. Current weight for yours truly, 220. That is a sveldt 15 pounds less than the last time you saw me. Seriously, you might not even be able to see me now!

That is all I have for now, unless you count Mandy and Andy’s wedding which was awesome! Guaranteed to be posted before 5:00 PM CDT.

Brian

Shannon C - Perfect! Thank You. My post processing does not thank you, but my overloaded brain does. I can finish those print orders now.

Dag Nibbity!

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