I was driving in to work today and I kind of pulled a dick move. I was at a 4 way stop next to a semi truck. There was another 4 way stop about 50 ft. ahead and the semi couldn’t go because traffic had backed up at the next 4 way stop and he would have been blocking cross traffic so he was waiting till he had space. I needed to get in his lane so I cut over once there was room, meaning he had to wait even longer.
So, for the rest of the way into work, I felt like I couldn’t get mad at anyone else on the way in to work, even if they pulled a dick move on me. Of course, all bets are off on the way home – it was just the duration of that commute that I felt the guilt.
That got me thinking about the rules of the road that they don’t teach in driver’s ed or defensive driving. Without further adieu, the Rules of the Road (according to Brian)…
1. The biggest asshole on the road, without question, is the person that sees a long line of cars and drives up to the front and cuts in. There is a special place in hell for that idiot. If you are that idiot stop doing it – just stop!
2. You can’t get mad at other people driving like a retard if you are driving like a retard. For further clarification, don’t complain to the person you are talking to on the phone (while driving) about the jerk talking to someone on their phone while driving in front of you.
3. Sometimes when I see someone pull a dick move on someone else, especially if it was intentional, I will catch up to that person and pull a dick move on them. My favorite tricks for this scenario include tailgating, getting in front of the violator and slowing down only to speed up when they try to pass me, and of course, the ole Mexican road block.
4. People wouldn’t get so mad about you putting on make-up, talking on your phone, eating or disciplining your children in the backseat (while driving) if you would do it in the slow lane instead of the fast lane.
5. If you have to decide whether to pay your insurance premium or go to the club on a particular evening, seriously, you are too poor to drive. There is no shame in riding the bus when you’re poor… unless you are going to the club so if that is the scenario you find yourself in, stay home and save your money…
6. Karma will catch you on the road. If not today, soon my friends… soon…
So, I think I got all the important stuff there. I reserve the right to append to this list if I missed anything. so… did I miss anything?