Many, many decades ago, there was this social networking site on the internet called MySpace. Back in the day, it was a pretty cool place to keep up with your friends, long before it was taken over by teeny boppers and thugs. So I am only mildly embarassed to admit that many moons ago, I actually had a MySpace page. I once wrote a story on my page about an experience I had with a hair brush back when I was a wee little Sprayberry. Rather than re-typing that monstrosity story here, I am just pasting what I wrote on MySpace for your reading pleasure.
Check back here tomorrow for an AWESOME update on this story. It is sure to bring a tear to your eye…
The MySpace post:
Thursday, May 18, 2006
It’s all about the hair…
So here I am at worktoday and, as usual, I am working hard. I am listening to this book on CD, ‘Marley and Me’, great book! It has me reflecting on things that happened in my life when I was but a wee young lad – not necessarily because it has anything to do with the book, it’s just the mood it has me in.
I am thinking about this time when I was about 6 years old. I had gotten this awesome Snoopy comb and brush set for my birthday. Now keep in mind, this is the mid 70s and we were living in Virginia at the time. I had gotten a lot of cool stuff for my birthday that year but I remember this Snoopy comb and brush set being my favorite gift EVER. I used the heck out of that brush and I took it with me everywhere.
One day, my older brother and I were out in the front yard playing with another one of my birthday gifts, an Evil Kneivel action figure with a wind up motorcycle. My brother was setting up a ramp with a jump that would involve my Evil Kneivel action figure over a pit of fire. Let’s just say I was PUMPED! I set my Snoopy brush down, completely oblivious to the danger, on a car parked in front of our house so I could focus on the death defying Evil Kneivel stunt. So, we got the fire going and made several successful jumps over the treacherous pit of fire.
One of our neighbors came out and laughed at what we were doing and made us promise not to burn his house down. He got in his car and started to drive away. I was so distracted by the awesome fire jump, it took me a second to realize – HE WAS DRIVING AWAY WITH MY SNOOPY BRUSH ON HIS TRUNK!!! I let out a primal scream and FLEW after that car. I don’t think, to this day, I’ve ever moved as quickly as I did chasing that brush. I was like a friggin gazelle!
I was a good 5 or 6 blocks away from home before I realized the futility of my chase. I began to slow my marathon sprint to a slow walk. All I could do at that point was cry. I walked home thinking about what I had just lost and how stupid I had been to put the brush on that car. I didn’t even care about the trouble I was going to get into for leaving the yard. This was a dark day for me, and it’s funny how vividly I remember it 30 years later.
As I got home with tears still rolling down my face, my brother laughed at me – I’m not sure if he was laughing at the site of me running after that car, or the fact that I was crying, or just laughing at the thought of my misery. I guess knowing him it was likely all three. At that point I was too devistated to care. I abandoned the Evil Kneivel action figure and went straight in the house. My brother came in, still laughing hysterically, and relayed the story to my mom. She understood and tried to console me. It was no use. There really wasn’t much more reason for me to live from my perspective. That Snoopy brush was pretty friggin important!
I sat in the living room, staring out the front window, waiting – hoping the neighbor would get home soon and that the brush would still be sitting where I left it. I knew the odds were slim but that was all I had to go on and I was clinging to hope. I wasn’t letting go of that Snoopy brush until I was certain I had given the recovery effort everything I had.
It was about four hours later when he finally did come back and as expected, the brush was gone. I remember thinking that wherever it was he went, someone had seen that brush on his car when he stopped and they made it their own. I had every intention of finding this person and getting that brush back no matter what it took. I also remember crying myself to sleep that night.
The next day I saw the neighbor outside and quickly asked him where he had gone the day before. He wanted to know why I was asking and I relayed the story of the Holy Grail of Brushes and he chuckled when he told me he had just been running errands and didn’t remember exactly where he went. I pressed him for more info and he told me he had seen me running behind his car and thought I was trying to race him so he purposely sped up enough so that I wouldn’t catch him but slowed down enough so I wouldn’t give up either. He thought the sight of me chasing his car was funny. I still hate that bastard!
In retrospect, I probably should have burned his house down. If only I wouldn’t have been so stupid to put that brush on his car…